Monday, March 30, 2015

23 Weeks

Baby Messmer is the size of an ear of corn. Shes about 1.1 lbs and 11.5 inches

Weight Gain: 8 pound weight gain so far. The emotions of being pregnant give me mixed feelings about my weight gain but usually I am pretty positive about it.

How I'm Feeling: The past week or so has been rough. For some reason I hit a wall. I am so tired all the time. Its almost like the first trimester all over again.

Sleep: Sleep is rare. I think it has to do with not being able to sleep on my stomach anymore. I sleep about an hour or so at a time. Maybe this is why I am so tired?
Hormones: So many hormones. I don't really know what to write here.

Food: I am so hungry that I don't even care what I eat anymore. Although I have been really enjoying sandwiches (toasted for those who are concerned with my eating habits).

Maternity Clothes: I am officially in maternity clothes all the time. I am starting to really enjoy them though! So comfy! My maternity clothes have never felt tight so I can see the appeal to some people.

Monday, March 23, 2015

22 Weeks

Baby is 15 oz. and the size of a papaya

22 weeks of pregnancy. What can I say at this point? I am getting larger everyday and baby has been kicking like she is trying to break a board in my stomach. Sleep gets a tad harder every night. Sometimes I look at my husband, the love of my life, my better half, and think about nicely elbowing him as hard as I can while he happily snores next to me. 

Then she kicks me. How cool is that? It's like a tiny reminder that something great is happening. I might be losing wonderful moments of sleep, but I am gaining precious moments with my daughter. Just a quick change of perspective and something potentially really annoying turns into something great.

The other night I was upset about gaining weight. Something that is quite normal during pregnancy by the way, but of course the constant reminder when I look in the mirror hasn't helped. My charming husband quickly reminds me that pregnancy is beautiful and blah, blah, blah (because my husband is the best). Really I just needed perspective and after some long thought I realized I probably shouldn't body shame myself and my daughter before she is even born. The world is a scary enough place for girls and women so I shouldn't start while she is still growing happily inside me. I should be her safe place.

Maybe it is the 2nd trimester glow. I might turn into a woman who wants this baby to come out ASAP in a few weeks, but right now I can't believe how awesome this has been. So I am being positive and hoping that this happy energy funnels to this baby.

Monday, March 9, 2015

Stay As Long As You Want

Our journey is just about halfway through little one. I feel like I get to know you better every single day. You like burying yourself as low as you can go, which makes the act of standing up very difficult on me but has been a wonderfully perfect reminder that you are still there. I feel your movements, but I am still waiting for that first big kick, the one that will make me think you might be a pretty great soccer player. You like car rides when the music is up as loud as it can go and me and your dad sing, which tells me that we might need to have your hearing checked like super quickly after you are born.

Basically the past 20 weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions but they all come back to one simple thing... we love you so much already. If it is half as fun getting to know you when you are actually here we are anxious as can be. Our hearts are full. We think about you all the time.

Little girl I have to admit, this past 20 weeks have been the best in my life so stay as long as you want. Make yourself comfortable. I'm not going anywhere and I plan to enjoy every moment with you.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Bumpdate Week 18

Baby Messmer is the size of a white onion. 5.1 inches long.

Weight Gain: As of my checkup last week, I have gained 2.5 pounds from the beginning of this pregnancy. Sometimes I feel like it is a lot more but I am starting to get used to it.

How I'm Feeling: My energy is back. I would love to be able to go outside but it has been so cold here the past few weeks. No matter what I eat I get heartburn.

Sleep: I sleep between 10-12 hours a night. I like to sleep.

Hormones: Oh the emotions. I told my mom last weekend that if emotional people feel like this all the time I don't know how they can live this way. Basically anything I read on the internet makes me cry. If it involves a dog then you can automatically assume I am done for the rest of the day.

Food: Gimme all the pasta and bread.

Maternity Clothes: My mom and I went on a little road trip shopping expedition a few weeks back and I got two pairs of maternity jeans and I love them! I bought a few tops as well but they are for when it gets a bit warmer out. It has to get warmer, right?

Monday, February 16, 2015

Baby Messmer Is A...

Ok so my weekly bumpdates have been a little behind which is totally my fault... but also not my fault because I am growing a human and  people can't be upset with the girl who is growing a human. Anyway I have been really busy with things like work and enjoying time with my husband before we become a family of 3 so excuse me if sometimes I forget to blog about it.

To give you a little bit of an update I am now what... like 17 weeks pregnant? That is right, I am asking you to tell me. So that's almost halfway. It feels like it has been 17 weeks and not in a good way. Mostly in an I am so bored because it is cold and I never want to leave the house so I am just going to sit here and think about how I am going to be pregnant forever or have a 14 pound baby like the woman on tv. 17 weeks goes by quite slow when your mind is in a weird winter fog place.

Now that we know the sex of our little muchkin at least I can do things like online shop. Or regular shop, which is something me and my mom did over the weekend. I took a half day from work on Friday and we went out of town and spent the weekend shopping and eating junk food in our hotel room while watching trashy tv shows. It was as wonderful as it sounds.

Anyway, if you follow me on any type of social media you know that baby Messmer is a GIRL!

...and we have come up with a name but I am not ready to share it on the blog just yet.

For now I will just let you know that we are happy to have a healthy baby. She is in there doing flips and waving every time we get an ultrasound. Eric and I cannot believe that he is going to live in a house full of women but we both can't wait.

AMG says hello!

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Pregnancy... You Are Doing it Wrong

I have been quiet except for the occasional baby update. I remember a time where this blog was fun and lighthearted, a time when people would come for a good laugh at our crazy lives. I don't say much these days. I come to update you on things like what I am craving that week or if you follow my Instagram you get a few more tidbits about what is happening around here, but mostly it is just quiet.

I can give you a million and one reasons why I haven't been motivated to blog. Maybe it was because of the hiatus I was forced to take a few months back. Maybe it is because I have been reading the emotional journeys of so many other women who just haven't had their magical pregnancy moment yet. Maybe it is because I am just tired. Growing a human is hard work. Or maybe it is because I fear that whatever I say will come with unsolicited advice from other moms or women who think they know the best way to grow a human being.

What I have learned in the past 15ish weeks is that everyone has an opinion. One of my favorite parts about myself (and Erics favorite part) is that I don't let opinions bother me. I have always been the kind of person who just lets comments roll right off. I don't do things I don't want to do. I know it drives some people crazy, but it is just how I am. I have never been the kind of person who sticks with the majority. I have made a lot of unpopular decisions in my life. Things have changed though. Hormones are a funny thing, ask my husband. Sometimes I have to say things like "pre-pregnant Casey would have loved that joke, but right now it makes me want to hurt you". 

I am more emotional than I have ever been. This is perhaps that hardest thing for me to adapt to. I see women who I believe are successful mothers (aren't you all successful if you kid is fed, semi-clean, and has a safe place to live?) but they give advice that is like... insane. It is like every single person who has ever parented a child thinks they have this magical key to success and they want to share it with you. Except, if you don't follow their rules exactly than you will not be a good parent.
Baby Messmer at 8 weeks

I never mentally prepared myself for this. I never planned to be a parent. I have never dreamed about becoming a mother. I didn't (as far as I know) want baby Barbies. I wanted Barbie and Ken to live in a loft apartment and to go visit all of my sisters Barbies kids on occasion. Do you guys know just how MANY things people want to talk to you about? Breastfeeding is by far the most popular. I am 15ish weeks pregnant and I have been asked at least 20 times if I plan on breastfeeding.

Diapers- cloth or not?
Sleeping- co-sleeping or not?
Feeding- breastfeeding or not?
Working- working or not?
What are you eating while pregnant?
What medicines are you taking while pregnant?
How much sleep are you getting?
How long do you plan on working?
this list could go on forever....

Each and every one of these things are important to everyone I talk to. I don't know the answer to most of them. I am overwhelmed. I am tired. I am just trying to do my best to make sure that every day I am nice to my husband, and that I have a good enough environment to hold this baby in. You know the key to growing a healthy baby? When mom is happy. Ask my doctor who tells me every single time I see her that the most important thing for my child right now, is that I am a happy healthy person. You know what is NOT good for me? Hearing what I can/cannot eat. How much I should/shouldn't sleep. Oh, and how much I work.

None of this is supposed to be mean. In fact, it is more therapeutic for me than anything. I guess if you think this post is about you than that is okay.  If the shoe fits than maybe you should think about it a little deeper. The reason I write it is because I am not the only person in the world who feels this way. I have talked to so many women who agree. I always hear things like "Isn't it so hard to hear people telling you that you are doing parenting wrong before the baby even gets here?"

That is the most perfect description in the world. If you have had a baby, you know where pregnant folks are at emotionally. Nothing is more deflating than a women who we look up to as a parent knocking us down before we even have the chance to show you what we've got as a parent. So here I am on my blog, a place that used to be so fun, promising you that you have something you want to talk about I won't be judging you. This place has been too quiet too long, and I knew I couldn't come back unless I got this all out in the open.

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Week #14 Bumpdate

Baby Messmer is the size of a large lemon. (3.5 inches long)

Weight Gain: I have lost 5 pounds since I found out I am expecting. Now that I am feeling a bit better I think I have been "nesting" because I can't sit down. I am always cleaning, organizing the house, or running errands. I guess I have to play catch-up because I haven't done anything in a few months.The movement must be helping me keep the weight off.

How I'm Feeling: I think the overall answer for the entire pregnancy is that I feel tired. The first trimester brought a lot of night sickness and I have always felt best in the morning. Thankfully I am feeling a lot less sick these days which is wonderful.

Sleep: I sleep between 10-12 hours a night. As long as the dog lets me sleep, I sleep.

Hormones: I cried listening to a Taylor Swift song the other day. I cried trying on maternity pants. I cried dropping the dog off at daycare for the first time. I cried when my husband sang Bye Bye Little Sebastian while I was laying in bed the other night. There is no way to prepare for the emotions involved in carrying a human around.

Food: I have been craving burgers. To supplement my cravings I have been making black bean turkey burgers at home. That way I can trick myself into thinking I am getting a delicious beef burger, but instead I am being healthy. Whatever.

Maternity Clothes: I bought a pair of maternity jeans. It was weird and I cried in a good/bad way. I have purchased a few tops as well. It is so hard to be motivated to buy maternity clothes when they are so temporary and so expensive.

I bought the first piece of baby clothing today and nothing makes it more real. I haven't really purchased anything at all for this little munchkin, but that is all going to change the moment I find out if it is a boy or girl. This outfit is one of the few unisex outfits I have found and I just couldn't pass it up!