Then it came. My inspiration. It just hit me in the face when I read a blog post by my good friend Monica. She got engaged this past holiday season and she is so high on the excitement that it's contagious. Recently she wrote about how she met this very lucky guy of hers and it made my soul happy. Reading stories about love just makes me a better person. There is something about sitting down and really learning about other happy relationships that puts you in the mood to be happy in your own. It is like this cycle of happiness and this blog post is probably making like 95% of you want to gag but the other 5% are reading this with stars in their eyes because they know exactly what I am talking about.
When I was reading Monica's post I couldn't help but think about how relationships change. I remember wedding planning so vividly that it feels like it was yesterday. I remember this unconditional love I felt because I knew I was marrying my best friend and someone who I could share my life with. I wasn't thinking about kids (although our priest kept mentioning them during the ceremony for some reason). I was thinking about what a great team we were, just the two of us. I was enjoying the adventures as we planned our wedding and then shared the day with our family and friends.
Then we started married life. It consisted of having no real money, an 800 square foot apartment, and a few Nerf guns. I began working from home while Eric finished up school, graduated, and then looked for his first post college job. We had so much time together. We danced in our galley kitchen, we binge watched shows like Deadliest Catch and Parks and Rec, and we just spent time taking in the moments as we started our lives together.
It all happened so quickly, but the next thing you know I was pregnant and terrified. My husband always reassured me that we would be able to handle it. We spent hours putting together furniture that came in the tiniest pieces. We hand painted and built the mobile above her bed. We talked about what kinds of parents we wanted to be and we waited in anticipation as it got closer to my due date. Each day we enjoyed what could potentially be the last official day of just the two of us.
Addison came into this world and life changed forever. Yes having a baby was a huge responsibility, but watching Eric with our daughter gave me a new appreciation and different kind of love for him. Watching him grow as a parent has made me fall even more in love. His love for our daughter fills me with pride and I know that I couldn't have picked a better dad for our girl. You don't know how much you love someone until you see them with your child.
We have gone through so many changes and so many different phases in our relationship. When I look at posts like Monica's, I pray they get to experience the cycles that come with marriage. The ups and downs are the best part. I think God gives us our spouses so that we can know what is like to choose to love someone unconditionally no matter where we are in our lives. I love my spouse because I choose to love him all day everyday (even when he snores... LOUDLY). I loved him with starry eyes when I walked down the aisle on our wedding day, I loved him with appreciation when he got his first post college job to provide for our family, I love him everyday with pride as he sings to our baby. It is things like this that I think are important for newly engaged people to know. The love you feel right now doesn't go away, you just gradually start to feel a new love. Keep choosing it. It is totally worth it.